a discourse on intimacy...

 Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her book , 'Committed'...
"We yearn for private intimacy even though it's emotionally risky. We yearn for private intimacy even when we suck at it...We yearn for private intimacy even when we are told that we should yearn for something else, something finer, something nobler. We just keep on yearning for private intimacy, and for our own deeply personal set of reasons. Nobody has ever been able to completely sort out that mystery, and nobody has ever been able to stop us from wanting it."
~
It is innate, this need. I believe, above all else, we need intimacy, we crave it, we have an intrinsic need to be known and understood and for many, this need outweighs all others. To simply exist in the world without deeply sharing with another is unfathomable to me. We can truly feel we know ourselves so completely but we have that desire to have that special someone know us just as completely. Someone that knows us in all of our earthly, soulful and spiritual glory. This speaks of true intimacy.
I first learned of something called 'split aparts' or twin souls in college while taking a Philosophy of Religion course taught by a wonderful teacher and priest. I loved this course immensely.  It was truly fascinating and birthed my love of all things mystical and philosophical.  Anyway, getting back to this ancient theory. Here, it begins with Plato, from his Symposium, though the essence of this theory has been seen throughout all of history. Here is a quote from Plato.

 “And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself,
the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and
one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”
~ Plato
2,500 years ago

Throughout our lives, relationships can come close to meeting this intimacy level, but somehow fall short, whether through our own failure, our beloveds failure or clearly a combination of both or simply our fate has not yet been graced with this explicit soul.   I believe that as we evolve we come closer to meeting this IDEAL within ourselves and within the other. The ideal love, the ideal mix of two, made into One. Not everyone has this requirement nor gives it much thought. However,  many, especially those spiritually and mystically inclined crave this after they've done the work of living, loving and not having relationships measure up. On rare occasions the very young can find this ideal early on, but I have witnessed repeatedly, this ideal making its appearance later in life. To be clear, some people never find their ultimate soul mate in this lifetime. Some believe that their twin soul can exist in the ethereal plane yet the connection is as real as if they were here (but that is another story).
No one should ever give up this dream of sharing the truest intimacy with a beloved. This exists if we open our hearts and souls to the ideal, as well as, the reality. I feel we can find practical, companionship type, mutually respectful relationships, but they may be lacking in the passionate, romantic sense; in that deep soulful way. I also feel that at different points in our lives we may find ourselves experiencing exactly that; the companionship type of love, but underneath it all, can be a LONGING ~ that ancient need to meet our truest beloved possible. Maybe God did create us in this manner. Maybe this idea of an androgynous soul blended with female/male, yin/yang nuances; destined to come together, is our Reality? That one day or lifetime for that matter, after working out our individual balancing of male/female energies, as well as, reaching a certain evolutionary level or level of enlightenment, we are then finally 'complete' enough in our Selves to meet our other half; who has also done the same work.
There are so many variations on the theory of twin souls  but its essence is that we will always have this DESIRE to reunite with our other-half, that we will finally become whole and experience the most beautiful, sacred kind of romantic love that exists.  

It wasn't simply Plato who wrote on the subject, Edgar Cayce did, the Sufi mystic poets, Hafiz, Rumi and Persian mystic, Khalil Gibran. If my memory is correct, Walt Whitman and Emerson had as well. Either way, it is a fairly well-known concept. When I think of this and believe me I spent much time reading up on the subject, I realized that this 'theory' can put us into a place of severe, perpetual longing with no manifestation of said twin soul in sight. That is not a good thing. Sure, we can share intimacy with one to whom is not necessarily our truest soul mate, or mirror-image, or shares with us an equal energetic/spiritual vibration but there is that all-consuming, compelling nature or idea of meeting one who IS our true other-half or split apart as Plato had termed it, and that can be overwhelming.

An anonymous quote found via the compelling book I'm reading titled: 'The Meaning of Mary Magdalene' by Cynthia Bourgeault, speaks of this kind of love:  "True love is a transforming force and is really the birth-pangs of a union on a higher plane."

This *union* on a higher plane is said to be a true conscious love, the most intimate of soul connections. I completely resonate with the use of the word *pangs* ...for this is exactly what this NEED feels like. 

This love, also written about in the 'Song of Songs' '...which has been, and will always be interpreted differently, depending on what an individual perceives as its true message.  This poem or song, from the Old Testament  is incredibly beautiful and even erotic. Having been written so long ago, testifies to the fact that this "LOVE";  this intimacy of joining and connection, has been around 

F O R E V E R  and will remain as such, whether taken to describe love of God or love of the beloved, it matters not. 

Here's a  passage: 

"Place me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal on your arm.

Strong as Death is love;

intense as Sheol is its ardor.

Its shafts are shafts of fire,

flames of Yah.

Deep waters cannot quench love,

nor rivers sweep it away."

*Yah (Yahweh) means Holy Love

More love quotes:

"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable. " -Victor Hugo

Can you tell I have LOVE on my mind? and it has nothing to do with Valentine's Day, it is simply the nature of life and my most treasured of topics. 

And,  excuse my tangent, this is what I originally  came here to post.

Unspoken affections

cloaked in Winter's white

though time is nearing; tis' almost ripe!

this dialogue of want between

intimate souls

a lifetimes affliction? or

the most sublime of woes?

© 2011

More lovely quotes:

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart." - Robert Sexton

  

"We are all born for love... it is the principle existence and its only end."
- Benjamin Disraeli

~
It's obvious this topic of intimacy, love, soul mates and twin souls, could go on indefinitely, but I'll let it rest...for now ;) 

I hope you all have a most beautiful and loving Valentine's Day ~ Make CUPID proud! :)

image source: Lovers Embrace by Henry Asencio

Until next time...

impatient vows

impatient vows
seek to understand

conceived in the heavens
fate actuating
the onset
as well as the duration

I cannot force alteration
I cannot escape the inescapable
I can only gleam the force
and imagine its impact

I cannot push nor pull
I cannot calibrate it

I can only celebrate
in its coming to pass

I cannot ply between fingers to make REAL
I cannot paint it on canvas
or weave it into existence

Free will allows me to play a part
but all is divinely appointed
~ awaiting consummation

as impatient vows
seek to understand

until we meet again...

image source: what to do ~ deviantart

a visceral existence...

a Visceral Existence
proclaimed
defined by efficacy of Light

conviction of soul
as One befalls this Plane to the next
dormancy
withholding
gaining momentum that governs the way from and to sacred mansions
To Fracture the Membrane

the veil excised
there is no reverse path

for birth is raw
life is raw
and LOVE is raw

tethered to seeds of knowledgeRooted in the Sacred
tethered to a sublime, indescribable Force

lifetimes projected
probabilities viewed
manifestations proven

To Fracture the Membrane 
is to live a Visceral Existence
To Awaken...
To become REAL

image source: asemente 

PLEASE visit me here to see what I have been up to :  NEW PAINTINGS

Oh Hey 2011

Amazing that it's already the year 2011. Happy New Year to all of you!!! In 2010 I had a virtually non-existent blogging year. I had not planned it that way. I also didn't plan to be away for the last four months in a row, yikes, but life has been busy in good ways :).... Okay, enough of that. My wish for all of you is that you experience a year filled with LOVE, joy, prosperity and good health. I want all those things for you but also I want you to have a great year for self-expression and creativity!!! I want the same for myself. This is why we blog. This is why we write and why we paint and why we do what we do. This is how we express our needs, desires, but most importantly our individuality and our essence. What can be better than that!

I hope to visit all of you and be back here much more often in the new year. Forgive my absence. And one more thing, while it's tradition to make resolutions this time of year, let's not forget to acknowledge what we have accomplished in the past year. Each day we live, we learn, we grow and we're getting better all the time, so celebrate it! Celebrate YOU! Gratitude is a must for ourselves and for those we love and for those we will love in the new year!

Magical blessings my friends and much love!

 

image source: tumblr

puzzle pieces fall together...

there was that moment when all the benign pieces fell into place.
the vague nuances lit clear

in an instant reality set in

yet it felt like if one misstep ~ poof, it could all disappear

started out with a 'crash'
cosmic combustion
allied forces you and me
unknowns in this game

subtleties here, there, everywhere
then silence
no movement
...albeit intentional
a girl's got to take time to receive,
process, that's how she rolls.

reappearances
wonderings multiplied
spread like wildfire
who? what? does he?
doesn't he?

a game
a chance at testing the proverbial waters
oh, but such beautiful waters
and eyes so blue

to be a slave to one's own heart,
to dance
this dance with soul; a fated soul
long lost, then found

oh such a place
designing this;  this business of beauty, of love

creating a pair out of the singular

having a wish
a want
a desire to move forward, always forward
 at times, at a snails pace
at times, like a rushing whitewater rapid
that threatens to engulf ever so completely
drowning all that has been or  will ever be

the magnet drawing closer
pulling
the magnet had a name
it was calling out to another
who also had a name

a joy this dance of love
a gift
possibilities stirring the sweet senses

the no-nonsense I must have you now!
but am told waiting is a necessity

but I will wait
you are worth the wait

and if it all leads to you
I would die in the arms of uncertainty
letting fate tell a timeless tale
I'd relive each & every moment
again and again
the heartaches, the pain
as long as it leads to you.

for it is you whom i was fated
for it is you my soul chose so long ago
it is you that ripens my desire, my destiny
and catapults it into the stratosphere

we do this for each otherbecause We are Two, lying in wait
 fated to be One.

© 2010

image source:  Born to be Alive_tumblr

final trip pics here: the patina of a life expressed...

This is bliss...

that knowing feeling
fated love
enlightens
resurrects what holds true
lies could not withstand the force of this beauty

you and I different yet so alike
two hearts
true hearts

once you spoke
i came undone
life as i knew it would never be the same *

how is it that we were chosen?
how is it that grace had so gently
placed you within my heart center
where you grew for so many months

and it is I that feels sheltered
those moments
that one in particular, you know the one
where you looked out for me
for no other reason than to be gentle and kind

compassion runs deep in you
you are true
my Mr. blue
you are true

i can finally *see*
questioning for so long
when all i had to do was hear you
see you, listen intently!
study your eyes that light up when i say something,
anything, you seem to find it amusing and i love to watch
you stand there with that look in your eyes
that sparkle
i see you wanting me
i see you seeing me wanting you

aren't we the lucky ones?
though i've no doubt that if love were made to be earned
you and i deserve this love

i am unable to find the word to describe you
to say something about what you do for me
one word isn't enough
no sentiment could come close to
explaining you
my gift
my love

playfully you join me
playfully we seek
we are granted so much joy
we can't help but smile like Cheshire cats
or giggle like the children who play in the fountain

we are them
we have been touched by the grace of God
we worked so hard
we believed for so long
we healed
we have been rewarded tenfold

because of you
i will always be a believer
the presence of you
is proof of the presence of a Supreme Being

we are gifted this togetherness
we get to love
cherish
 hold
share
 keep
design
create
and sigh each chance we get because we know
how fortunate
and how blessed
we are

we know what all souls strive to find; to feel
most can only hope but we were gifted and
though we paid our dues
we always knew we would find
US
we never gave up hope

always walk with me
hold my hand in yours
let us never forsake or take for granted what we have been given

i love you
i do

i take you  forever
and by the grace of God
forever we will be...


© 2010
image source: may_i_never_be_perfect_
* taken in part from a sweet line from the  film 'PS I love you'...


view my recent travel pics here:  the patina of a life expressed...

cleaning house...a 4 for 1

Amazing the affect one can have on us. They free us to feel and even though that can bring vulnerability and pain; it is a beautiful opening, regardless.

We live, we love, we learn

She says as she cleans house…

Delicate intentions

Sublime wishes

A subterfuge of evil?

Reminders of truth

Laid out like lines of cocaine

On the mirror of the one about to snort that blow

Sad like that of a cocaine addicted soul

Lies that weave in and out

Get inside; fester

Damage

Heightened atmosphere

Then the crash, fall and burn

Cupid’s arrow struck ~ took hold ~ then bottomed out

adrenaline

The rush of blood in veins

The rush of love

The rush of love’s crash and

ultimate burn

Herein  lies the DEATH of illusion…

Love bordering on graffiti~

What began with a fresh clean slate

stars collided

Mingling about the cosmos

all seeing,

All knowing

commenced sharing, and sweet communion.

Until it became known that

The trueness = pure lies

unadulterated garbage

A womanizer by day

A writer by night

A weaver of moments~ So captivating

Oh and those sentiments; weaved so expertly

She had never known that someone could, or would even want to feign emotion

It’s not as if she hadn’t suspected, she had

She's a skeptic by nature

She's had to be

Perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy?

For she knew all along but still held belief

Yet for what?

And why?

She felt as though she was his conscience

Though the whys may never be answered

lesson were learned

Amazing what can take place in a year’s time

They came and went

Now she is stronger

Fearless

Determined

She is once again catapulted to

Goddess Status

where she is living her  truth

And that

Is all that matters

a synopsis

bent,
stirred

cold remains

good eradicated

lacking dispensation

solitary designed

yet creative efforts survive

grey palettes

the wash and wear of life

dissonance

silencing the beast

that lay within

for the veil that separates

the vividly real from the ethereal
has vanished 


she is at peace

embattled 

 for sin

day old corpses

resurrect come day three 

the final challenge

intense weeping

tiny thrusts 

thread bare

broken

manufactured dreams

lay flat 

the beast 

circles

dispensing of illusion

 

© 2010

cleaning house (metaphorically speaking),

emptying journal pages 

leaving worn out beliefs and hurtful people behind...
thank God bad is but a blip on the radar of life...
sometimes, you just have to just say "Fuck Off Already!!! "

Life is good! 

image source: joe curtin _we heart it

letting in...letting out...

16 x 20 acrylic on canvas ~ Vulnerability in love  ~ painted in 2006

shrouded outwardly**
inwardly open and raw

let him in ~ again
only to be let out
like a dog

moonlight, spot lit
severed thoughts
linger
far, the dream had come
but stopped dead in its tracks like that of
a deer crossing a meadow on  a
cold moonlit night
as it sensed danger nearby,
i sensed danger in him

i awakened to dampness
my brow perspired with anticipation
heart beat in rhythm to his
once sacred, now scared
sleep come!
how i wish to sleep it away!
to sleep him away
to sleep away his lies
his betrayals
the reality that he needed something,
something that apparently no one could give

what he needs will never be
for he is lost in a plethora of needs
none of which will hold his gaze or satisfaction

selfish needs
dark deeds

they will never be met
nor should they

his vanity
his own mirror cracks at his self-indulgence
IT cannot take
the ego he wears like a crown
a crown of thorns unto himself
though their points have no affect on me

humility could give rise
but not likely
ego? illness?
ego illness?
a psyche that is not of the norm
i am petrified that i've given my heart
to someone that has a cold
calculating
devious desire to weaken those who love

©
2009
image source: Painting by Calli
*interesting that I found this in my edits in blogger. I never posted it and when I read it, in its  immediacy, it did not feel as though I had written it. I think this happens when we *automatic write* from a place of hurting or sadness or when purging old feelings, emotions and beliefs. We express from a deep, cavernous place within and it all at once makes sense and yet does not. I love when this happens, because this is when we write from our place of Truth and what could be more profound than that. **also interesting to me is that in the painting she is vulnerable and sans clothing to depict her vulnerability and yet in the poem  she is shrouded (covered) to hide her pain. Signifies how we can be completely covered and still feel unsafe, naked and vulnerable. 
I am creating a few posts on my recent trip to Vermont. I will be posting in a series because I have so many things I want to share...stay tuned for that! butuntil then you can view NEW paintings & pics here: Patina of a Life Expressed

empty frames...

empty frames
overlap against paneled walls

once held images of a life within
and now, weather worn without

they've seen better days
memories shaped, lives lived
and so remain

a patina
that ceases to tell individual stories
though volumes adhered
to every pore of their time worn wood

their vintage charm holds a sense of pleasure, pain,
joy and deep sadness

imprints from another place and time

empty frames overlap against freshly painted walls
in anticipation of new memories, fashioned, captured

then treasured...
by US


image source: google search

© 2010

just dreaming me some sunshine and mini travels...

With the holiday weekend behind us I find myself dreaming (what else is new ;) of traveling;
of seeking, searching and capturing with my mind's eye, heart and camera ~ LIFE. The sun will not shine today but I simply love days like this. Puts me in a dreamy state. The birds are chirping and the sounds of the season are among us.  I was going through photos this morning doing some research and came upon so many that inspire me to live life more fully;  to engage when my heart desires something new. I have been so one-track minded these days and so determined to wind down some projects, that I left my free-spirited bohemian soul-self, at the curb. She needs to spread her wings. She needs a good old-fashioned road-trip equipped with camera equipment, sandals and a cooler packed with fresh fruit, and other road-trip, hands-on-the-steering-wheel-worthy-food. That would include a pack of red licorice and let's not forget my thermos of coffee, preferably a StarBucks French Roast Intensely Smoky X-Bold blend. Warning: That stuff is wicked strong so you best love coffee enough to chew on beans themselves or not have an issue with growing hair on your chest ;) cuz you're in for an experience. Back to the road-trip. It's nearing time. As soon as the kids go on vacation with their Dad, I'm off to blue skies, my beloved Green Mountains and some serious fave spot hopping. The Desert was calling but I think I prefer New England travels this go around.~ Here's a lovely place that I hope hasn't changed one iota since I was last there. This is a gorgeous bistro with an old world ambiance. Many fond memories of this place. ........in downtown, Burlington, VT

Lake Champlain facing our gorgeous New York, Adirondack Mountains.

and once I hit the road and begin exploring maybe sweet surprises will be discovered along the way.  One never knows...;)

I'm mean let's face it, if we're not open to such experiences what is the use of living. I need to shake things up but my number one rule...Safety First! I am hyper-vigilant! One must be as a parent and as a single woman in the world.  I mean hey, there are a lot of sick and dangerous people out there.
 I need to take along a travel journal this time around. I always come across these little tiny out of the way charming towns or antique shops and then forget how I got there. I am never worried tho' about getting lost as the main roads are pretty easy to navigate but isn't that the fun of traveling when you can simply EXPLORE; taking the road less traveled, cliche' ? maybe, but true! While dreaming of Burlington, there was a time when I wanted to relocate there, more than anything. I think the only thing that stopped me was that my eldest daughter was still quite young and us being on our own after a wicked break up felt a bit overwhelming. I have always had an independent streak but at times, would not or could not attempt to come out of my comfort zone. But I just fell in love with the atmosphere there. Ideally, to live nearby in the country with Burlington just mere minutes away would be perfect. The first time I looked up at those lovely old buildings on Church Street, I saw an artist working at their easel at night with the light on and realized what a vibrant, lovely place to create; overlooking the quaint, cobblestone street with  eccentric mimes and street musicians below. It's so peaceful at night, couples walking hand-in-hand browsing store fronts, sipping cappuccino's on patio's of some very jazzy places, like the aforementioned Bistro;) ...Oh, and, the restaurants there are so great!There is a fantastic, palpable atmosphere which totally draws me in. You know that scene in movies where many friends, misfits and the like come together to share great wine and delectable food, well that is the atmosphere in Burlington. So inviting. So eclectic. Very diverse and many creative people. Right up my alley.  Perhaps, if I lived there it would lose some of its charm, but probably not. I have a country heart with the inner energy of a city girl and in Burlington, I have met my match. Ahh, to dream.  No other place has given me the same inner feeling of joy that I simply have never been able to put into words. Just the mere *thought* of this place gives me that feeling. It is a transcendental experience within and gives me a sense of knowing; of belonging, that I cherish.  Maybe when my youngest kids are grown? I never rule anything out. 

I hope all my American friends had a fun Memorial day and that all of our soldiers, past, present and future, heard our praise  and prayers.
God Bless America! 

Until next time...

© 2010
image source: theres_a_thunder_in_our_hearts_baby_tumblr

Flights of Fancy?...No way!

In a secret place
a heavily guarded fortress for one
designed and implemented
to protect
to serve
An inner chastity belt ~ tightly secured.
 all the while...
the breeze wisps by and speaks loudly and with authority!
"It is open to you!
You must believe"!

"There is no war between two"

"There is no winner or loser"

"Only a right ONE, a right CHOICE".

Solace disturbed by this breeze that speaks as if it knows
what the heart does not. Penetration, regardless of chastity.
Damn this disturbance...damn this! The breeze is simply wrong,
naive, even feeble minded.

I just want to rest!

The breeze wisps by again and says, even more loudly and with even more authority!
"You have been loved with promises and where did that get you"?

"You must know your dreams will come true".
"You've done your part so yes, rest now but know it shall be done and soon".
"Time is the only delay".

"Rest now, for you will need all the energy you can muster"...

Still uncertain as to the breeze's knowledge and message;
skepticism remains.

after a lengthy sleep and soothing rest...

This heart opens like a blooming flower
Full with Fever!

Yet opening gently ~ carefully.
Can this be?
I can just be?

An affirmative, resounding 'YES' comes from far off in the distance
followed by...
"We will find
no boundaries,
no hindrances,
no confused emotions or intentions on my part or yours, my beloved.
Things that were issues in our respective pasts are just that ~ past.
They need not plague the love we are about to embark on.
Walls will crumble and fall"."We will both be FREE~ to just BE".
"This, you and I have designed together...and together we will  BE".


~AMEN to that! ;)


© 2010

image source: KnightsTreasure_LG2
I'm so sure I've used this image before but funny after my words were written I came across this pic again and low & behold...it fits perfectly!
 * Gotta love fairy tales because they can and do come true! ...
for a cute little fantasy click here: 
from the French film 'Happily Ever After' ....I just LOVE Johnny's smile/grin ~ it's so hot! and what a cameo role for him! Loved it!  ;)

*Once again, I have been an absent blogger. I'm not even sure I can call myself a blogger these days.    I am still so busy plus my laptop and connection have been
challenging me big time. I can't upload any new paintings or pics because my laptop usb ports are apparently shot.  But I wanted to make sure to pop in to say Hello!
Still renovating. Still setting up my new Studio. Still painting and working diligently on my new *secret* projects. I cannot wait for the reveal of those, at least in part at some point before September. 
....And,  Still missing you guys! 

intricacies of...

contemplating evanescence
comes a breath of life
nirvana

a soulful love

perceived emotions
movement
tangled in its intricacies

a parade of feelings
thoughts
wonderings...

deciphering
the story of ~
what was dreamed
and what we have BECOME.

© 2010

image source: 2tumblr_krk5a9S0uw1qzpe8uo1

Love for Keats
you think it almost crude to loveso fair; so much
conceived in quiet beauty
love can feign the faint of heartit springs forth from buds of weakened desiremade strongmade wholesustaining all elsefrail health ~ so cruel
 love requires its chanceits favourallow it its  earthly place, season,  time
let history know his love
let the romantic poet live within us all...
© 2010* inspired by the film - 'Bright Star' ... and by my beloved poet John Keats (1795-1821) 

as I wait for the antidoteto fuel my cure
as I was  living a liethat now revealed ~ obscure.
drifting in and outas I rest now amonglily's baredrenched in their scent existing everywhere
and yet nowhere...
© 2010

image source: tumblr*note: I have been dying to use this image ~ it's so unique! and so it may not match my prose, but hey!  :) ...and I been living that whirlwind of activity so my absence has been extended. I am making many changes, updates to my life,  my home,  my blogs and to my Art. I cannot wait to reveal my latest endeavor but time is needed, quite possibly a few more months...Instead of being absent, I hope to post my *little happenings* ~ if only to keep in touch.  Miss you ALL!!! Much love~ ME

more pics over at:

G A R A H S T A H 

let's fall in love again...

She's Back!!!!!! 

(got to get me one of these!  looks like a stylin' vintage Vespa! :)

Yes, I am finally making an appearance. It has been a whirlwind of activity. I hadn't planned on being away so long, let alone at all. Life has been busy! In good ways! I have been doing small remodeling projects. Re-decorating rooms in my home and prepping for larger remodeling projects that should be taking place soon (fingers crossed). Kids were on break from school. I also traveled to Arizona (my home away from home), and while there, stood up in my best friend's wedding! ... caught a bad cold upon return :( ...It was a very fast and furiously fun trip. We had a fabulous time and because it was short, I am already planning a return trip. I used to live in AZ and though I don't think I would enjoy living there now, it is so great to visit in February and have the most beautiful temps,  in the 70's = perfection! I especially love the nights in AZ.  It's so beautiful to sit outside enjoying a glass of wine hanging out with friends, old and new. We didn't have much downtime due to wedding preparations,  pedicures, hair, shopping, rehearsal dinner, etc. The outdoor wedding turned out so lovely and we managed to escape the forecasted rain. And for additional FUN that night we visited an Irish Pub and listened to a great band...Love the banter that goes on between the band and the audience...so much fun! Felt like I was in the film PS I Love You ~ the only thing missing was Gerard Butler ;) I wanted so badly to get up and dance like they did in Riverdance and Lord of the Dance...but instead you dance with your hands pounding on the table to the beat; very hypnotic! Feels a bit like static dance, definitely groovy :)
I miss the desert already and my best friend!

I also wanted to touch base to thank all of you, my sweet blogger friends  for sending notes and comments wishing me well and wondering where I've gone to. I appreciate your hanging in there during my absence. I miss visiting all of you and hope to do so very soon. Honestly, I am amazed I ever had time to blog before as things have just picked up so much, partly due to the warmer weather. I have sooo many new projects going on and I am very excited for several of them. It's amazing the mental *energy* and *optimism* that spring provides...


sunrise my first morning in AZ...

this was the house they rented for us...I loved the way the sun was touching the clay rooftops in the early morning sun...:) 

these were the best I could do for pics...sooo busy I forgot to pack my usb cord for camera :( so my memory card was full...:( but you get the idea....more pics over at:
G A R A H S T A H 

See You All Soon!!! 

image source: tumblr and all desert pics by Calli

cheers to love...

love 

 

love ...
(the key)

let love rest upon my breast

         my soul

let it nurture my want of you

let if feed upon all that you are

and all that i am 

when i am with you

we are unstoppable

we are !

i am

you are

no two more made for  LOVE

there was a time not long ago
when true love seemed impossible, tainted
but LOVE is always possible

you are here

i am here

we have found what we have both

always wanted,

always  needed 

some things are just meant to be

you are LOVE

happy Valentine's day...

~
Happy Valentine's Day  to all of you!!!!!
Spread the love...

© 
2010
image source: Marion Cottilard (french actress),  key to my heart, 
'Heart on the Mend' a paintng by Calli  - 2006, 
hands, and lolz.ir

purging the way back into love...

Feeling an urging, a purging, a clearing the way (symbolically) just in time for Valentine's Day!!!

How often do we find ourselves - HURT and wondering how in the hell did I let that happen - again?
We let it happen because we trust and as we all know we can trust to the point of being oblivious to the truth. The phrase love is blind coined by Shakespeare,  was/is too true.

But at the same time, love is grand! It is everything! Love is what urges me on each & every day. I am a hopeful romantic. You all know I believe that is the main reason we are here. When I write about love it is usually one extreme to the other and that 'something' in between. That's the way love goes. We can be fiercely, passionately in love or complacent in that love or we can feel a comfort level , a safeness within that love or anything in between.  I love the grand, fiercely passionate kind of love and I think that can be found and still bring about that sense of comfort and safeness. BUT, we do this ourselves;  for ourselves.  IF we're smart we will make sure we feel this in our own lives, in our own hearts before taking on another love. You would think this knowledge could come at an earlier time in ones life? You would think that once this knowledge came the message would stick?...but not always the case because  love is blind or it can be. I think when we are in love all sense goes out the window, if we're not careful.  IT would be so great if we all knew at a very young age  but chances are we live. we love, we eventually learn.  IT doesn't matter so much what someone; a parent or a mentor tries to teach us. We have to experience, plain and simple. But I always try to instill in my children that they themselves create their own happiness and that love can only add to the richness in their lives. I will keep telling them that,  until I finally get it...... ;)

a poem of purging:

feigned emotions
a counterfeit love
designed
a forgery to the heart

for what?
what purpose?
to understand, one must
enter the mind of a womanizer

he puts forth exhaustive efforts
to make women fall ~
and fall they do...

until they crash and burn
(some bitterly)
to the depths of her own hell

until she realizes
that she cannot live his lie  she will not be his conscience

she'll move heaven & earth
to once again

seek her own beautiful truth
~

sweet images... THAT is the way it should feel...and even with the commercialization of the all too dreaded Valentine's Day...I still believe in LOVEbut if love  lets me down again...
you can find me here....;)

©
2010
image source: veza1_largenbsp; tumblr images and
Cowgirl_in_Heaven+thestoeckleincollection


and a quote I really like: make that love! 

by Howard Zinn

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.